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HOW I STOPPED WORRYING AND BECAME A DANCER:  PART 1

1/27/2016

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PART 1:
​HULA HOOPING THROUGH POSTPARTUM

​I was never a dancer.

​​I remember my first dance experience at a Quinceañera party. I stood awkwardly in a circle of teenagers and tried to move my very stiff body, feeling terrified about being ridiculous and way too nervous about the way I would look dancing.

That self-consciousness was part of my life for a very long time.
 
I was never the “fit” type.
I always struggled with body image.
I was always one of the last to be chosen for sport teams and I hated PE more than anything.
I hated running.
 
Sure, I was on the swim team when I was ten and I did some yoga for a while when I was in college, but I never felt super passionate about any kind of physical exercise. I always had to force myself to do it.
 
During my pregnancy I did yoga a lot more because I was set on being as healthy as possible, and spent tons of time outdoors in nature. It really helped me connect with my body.
 
But it wasn’t until about two months after my son was born, one sunny afternoon on a San Diego beach, that I discovered a passion to move my body.

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MENSTRUATION AND CHILDBIRTH: THE FEAR OF BEING MESSY

1/5/2016

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​​I was eleven when I first got my period.
 
My mom had talked to me about it in a very factual manner and I think we also heard about it in school, so it wasn’t a surprise. I had been anticipating it for a while. Although I knew it was generally discouraged to talk about it, I told a few of my best friends I had “gotten it.” How could I help it? I was just so excited about growing up.
 
I was terribly disappointed when I found out a year or so later that my best friend started menstruating around the same time than me, but had not told me anything. When I asked, hurt and offended, why she kept it secret even after I told her about my period, she explained that her mom instructed her to NEVER, NEVER talk about it with anyone or leave any trace of evidence that would let anyone know that she was bleeding. And even though I don’t remember feeling any shame about menstruating before, I felt very ashamed in that moment.
 
Over the years I have talked to a lot of people whose first experiences with menstruation were negative and even traumatic. Many of them didn’t even know anything about menstruation before they got it. One of my friends told me she was punished when she started bleeding. She was called gross and messy.

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    Marissa Rivera Bolaños is a doula and visual artist with a passion to create change around the way our culture approaches women's health.

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  • ABOUT
    • Testimonials
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  • Services
    • Peaceful Parenting Coaching
    • Photography and Video
    • Child Birth Education
  • Contact
  • FAQ
    • Resources
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