Category: Personal

MY TOP 4 FAVORITE PARENTING BOOKS

10/16/2019

“I was a perfect parent, until I had kids“
- Every parent ever.

My first pregnancy was all about intuition.
High on the increased alpha brain waves, I spent endless hours walking in nature, doing yoga, meditating, dancing and journaling about my dreams.

I also spent so much time learning about birth and preparing for the kind of birth I wanted, that very little thought went into the whole parenting gig.

I knew I wanted to do better than my parents and I didn't think it could be so hard. I naively thought that my intuition would probably be able to guide me through that too.

My birth was a great experience and it armed me with tons faux confidence about life that lasted a surprisingly long time. Parenting a baby came easy to me. I have always tolerated sleep deprivation well and I felt happy and bonded to my baby, who was pretty much stuck to me all the time.

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What I Want Aspiring Doulas To Know

2/4/2019

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It feels like ages ago when I moved to Olympia, from Costa Rica with my partner and my son, carrying only our backpacks, didgeridoo and cast iron pan. At that time I had completed my first doula training and attended my first birth. I felt SO READY to start working with expectant families regularly. I expected things would be easier, faster, more straight forward. But they weren't. It's just now, almost 4 years and 3 doula trainings later that I have started to feel truly supported by my business.

Every year I hear from many people who want to become doulas, but don't know where to start. I know how it feels! So this two part series is for you, some tidbits of advice coming from the last few years of building a successful doula practice.

PART 1: CHOOSING A DOULA TRAINING

There are many training and certifying doula associations. Since the doula profession is not regulated, they are all just as officially valid as the other. However, some of them are bigger, better known and are seen as more legitimate in the profession. Some of them respond to particular needs or niches in the birth community. So, with so many great options out there, how do you choose a doula training?
These are some things to consider.

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The True Cost Of Trying To Be A Perfect Mom

2/14/2018

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“Realize that some moms won’t ask for help because they don’t want to seem less than the supermom they hope to be.”
-Dr. Sears

“Why did nobody tell me about this?” was the question I often asked myself when I woke up in the middle of the night to nurse my firstborn, wondering if I had peed the bed and realizing my breasts were leaking all over. I wish I had a clean shirt right next to bed. I wish I had a water bottler within reach. I wish I had a waterproof cover on my mattress. I wish I knew why my baby was crying. And all of the sudden I was furiously hungry at 3 am and the weight of it all was quite overwhelming.

Why didn’t I know these things?
We just don’t know what we don’t know.

HOW HARD CAN IT REALLY BE?
When I talk to pregnant people about postpartum and they look at me with disbelief at the thought of asking friends and family for help, I totally get it.
I was there too. It wasn’t until AFTER the birth of my first baby that I picked up a book about postpartum and I found myself thinking, “Darn, I should have read this BEFORE the baby was born.” Well, too late. I wasn’t prepared at all.

You might be wondering, what kind of preparation do people actually need? Does this really apply to me? A pregnant woman asked me recently: “Will I really not be able to get up from bed and make myself a sandwich? Is it really that bad?”

Honestly, if you don’t have any major complications during birth the answer is: most likely, yes. You will probably be able to physically get up from bed and make yourself a sandwich. You might even be able to make yourself a fancy sandwich or a more complex meal. I have seen people do very difficult things in the first few weeks after birth. But the real question here is… At what cost? And why?

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The Pride and Shame of Feeding a Baby

8/8/2017

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World Breastfeeding Week recently ended and I realized that although breastfeeding has been such an important thing for me as a mother and as a woman, I have never written anything about it in this blog. I don’t know at what point I started to think about it as a controversial topic and preferred to avoid it. The obsession with what "the best" is, can be a dangerous territory and it's hurting us.

FEEDING A BABY CAN BE A STRUGGLE
Some people who are very dear to my heart struggled with breastfeeding, one of them being my own mom. She nursed me for an incredibly painful month and a half and decided to stop when she found me spitting blood from her injured nipples.

She had absolutely no support. There were no lactation consultants she could talk to and her own family was very far away, on the other side of the country. She is, of course, not the only one who has been failed by a system that tells parents breastfeeding is best but gives them no tools to overcome the many challenges they might face.

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Does your baby's sleep make you a better parent?

8/3/2017

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YOUR BABY IS NOT A BLANK SLATE
One of the biggest mistakes that we make as parents is thinking that everything our children do, positive or negative, is a reflection of who we are.

It’s hard to become a parent. We have to give so much! Our own identities often become diluted as we pour every bit of ourselves into caring for our children. So when people say, “he is such a good baby,” “she is so sweet,” “they are so smart!” our chests swell with pride. Those comments can feel like an affirmation on the worthiness of our hard work as parents, which so often goes without recognition in nowadays individualistic culture.

Equally, if someone turns their nose to our kid, criticizes their manners, temper or behavior, it feels like a punch in the gut. For many of us, it’s easy to internalize that judgment (imagined or not) and start labeling our children and ourselves negatively (even if it’s a joke). Hot mess mom. Bad mom. Difficult child. Etc.

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Are Placenta Pills The Magic Solution To Postpartum Problems?

1/8/2017

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Placenta encapsulation is becoming very popular these days.
Celebrity buzz has certainly contributed to make this practice more mainstream. Nowadays more and more people are trying it out and sharing their experiences.

Consuming placenta is nothing new. Traditional Chinese Medicine has been using placenta medicine for more than 2000 years. In this tradition (and some others around the world) placenta is considered a powerful medicine that can help you replenish important nutrients, balance postpartum hormones and improve milk supply. (Although some these benefits are supported by research, they have not been verified by the FDA or any other such governing body).

When looking at the possible causes of postpartum mood disorders, science has found that a dramatic drop in hormones can contribute to depression. On top of that, the intense physical demands and blood loss of childbirth put a lot of stress on the body, causing fatigue and general weakness. It makes sense to think that consuming your placenta and recovering some of the iron, protein and hormones, would help balance things out and guard off postpartum depression.

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The Value of Meditation for Overcoming Pregnancy Anxiety

12/28/2016

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Pregnancy can be quite stressful. After all, your life is changing dramatically and the worries of the world all of the sudden seem much more overwhelming. New financial demands pile up, contradicting advice and information can be confusing, everyone has an opinion about your life, and your identity often seems to be replaced with the simple label: pregnant.

To make things even harder, you’re supposed to stay relaxed and happy, since everyone knows that stress is not good for the baby. Some studies have shown moms with high levels of anxiety during pregnancy are more prone to go into birth prematurely and their babies more likely to have complications.

“Some studies have shown moms with high levels of anxiety during pregnancy are more prone to go into birth prematurely and their babies more likely to have complications.”

“Just relax” might sound like great advice, but people who struggle with depression and anxiety know that it’s not as easy as it sounds. If all this sounds familiar, you might want to consider the extreme, insane-sounding thing that I’m about to propose: a 10-day silent meditation course.

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The Challenge Of Loving Your Changing Pregnant Body

12/7/2016

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You know what sucks? Worrying about your appearance all the time.
If you’re a woman, chances are you know exactly what I’m talking about, since statics show that at least 80% (although some say it's as high as 98%) of women feel dissatisfied with the way they look.
Isn’t that insane?
The documentary Embrace (trailer below), goes deep into this struggle for self-love.

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WHEN YOU DON'T WANT TO TELL PEOPLE YOU'RE PREGNANT

11/26/2016

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After these last few year of immersing myself on the world of pregnancy, birth and parenting, I have learned that one of the biggest struggles we all face is dealing with expectations.

Expectations make it really hard to live and enjoy the moment how it is. It’s hard to feel judged by others, but the hardest judgment to deal with comes from within. In reality, almost nothing will ever be what we expect it to be, even if we have experienced it before.

“Expectations make it really hard to live and enjoy the moment how it is. It’s hard to feel judged by others, but the hardest judgment to deal with comes from within.”

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ARE WE CRAZY FOR BRINGING MORE PEOPLE INTO THE WORLD?

10/30/2016

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I have a lot of friends that don’t want to have kids.

Some of them might change their minds in the future, they are still young and nowadays people are becoming parents later on in life. But you know what?
I think most of them won’t change their minds. They are determined and confident and they are doing great things in life that fulfill them. They don’t seem to feel the urge to bring other humans into the world.

I know they don't mean any harm, but sometimes their comments and posts about their decision to avoid parenthood rub me the wrong way. Why? Well, because I’m a mom. Not only that, but I’m also someone who shifted her lifestyle and career completely since becoming a parent. And although I love my son with all my heart, when I read all the reasons why people don’t want to have kids, a shade of doubt grows in my heart. Am I too selfish to be a good mom? Am I raising my son in a world that is falling apart? Can I really give him a good life? Is he going to be a person who will bring positive things into the world? Am I losing myself in motherhood?

These are hard questions. I could ignore those voices in my mind and just look at my son in his amazing innocence and beauty, but I would be denning a party of my self and that's never good. I think it’s worth to sit with these thoughts and feel the feelings all the way.

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MY TOP 4 FAVORITE PARENTING BOOKS

What I Want Aspiring Doulas To Know

The True Cost Of Trying To Be A Perfect Mom

The Pride and Shame of Feeding a Baby

Does your baby's sleep make you a better parent?

Are Placenta Pills The Magic Solution To Postpartum Problems?

The Value of Meditation for Overcoming Pregnancy Anxiety

The Challenge Of Loving Your Changing Pregnant Body

WHEN YOU DON'T WANT TO TELL PEOPLE YOU'RE PREGNANT

ARE WE CRAZY FOR BRINGING MORE PEOPLE INTO THE WORLD?

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