After three years of attending births, one of the things I see pregnant people commonly stress out about is deciding whether or not they should have their parents or parents-in-law at the birth.
For some, the answer is clear: Either they would love to have their relatives at the birth or they feel absolutely confident on not having them around.
But for the ones who feel hesitant, how do you decide?
Here are 6 questions to consider when making a choice.
1. WHY?
Ask yourself why you are considering asking your relatives to join: Is it because their presence brings you comfort? Do you feel obligated? Do you want to be polite? Do you think they have “the right to be there”? Do they think they have the right to be there? Do you want to avoid confrontation? Are you afraid of hurting someone’s feelings? If their presence is not going to bring you comfort and you answered yes to any of the other questions, you might want to look into this issue a little deeper.
2. ARE THEY BRINGING FEARS OR NERVOUSNESS?
Childbirth is a deeply intimate experience and you need to be surrounded by people who trust the process wholeheartedly and who support your decisions 100%. If your relatives are bringing nervousness or fear into your space, their presence is not going to benefit you and therefore, not going to benefit your baby.
For some, the answer is clear: Either they would love to have their relatives at the birth or they feel absolutely confident on not having them around.
But for the ones who feel hesitant, how do you decide?
Here are 6 questions to consider when making a choice.
1. WHY?
Ask yourself why you are considering asking your relatives to join: Is it because their presence brings you comfort? Do you feel obligated? Do you want to be polite? Do you think they have “the right to be there”? Do they think they have the right to be there? Do you want to avoid confrontation? Are you afraid of hurting someone’s feelings? If their presence is not going to bring you comfort and you answered yes to any of the other questions, you might want to look into this issue a little deeper.
2. ARE THEY BRINGING FEARS OR NERVOUSNESS?
Childbirth is a deeply intimate experience and you need to be surrounded by people who trust the process wholeheartedly and who support your decisions 100%. If your relatives are bringing nervousness or fear into your space, their presence is not going to benefit you and therefore, not going to benefit your baby.
