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MY   TOP   4   FAVORITE   PARENTING   BOOKS

10/16/2019

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“I was a perfect parent, until I had kids“
 - Every parent ever.
My first pregnancy was all about intuition.
High on the increased alpha brain waves, I spent endless hours walking in nature, doing yoga, meditating, dancing and journaling about my dreams.
 
I also spent so much time learning about birth and preparing for the kind of birth I wanted, that very little thought went into the whole parenting gig.
 
I knew I wanted to do better than my parents and I didn't think it could be so hard. I naively thought that my intuition would probably be able to guide me through that too.
 
My birth was a great experience and it armed me with tons faux confidence about life that lasted a surprisingly long time. Parenting a baby came easy to me. I have always tolerated sleep deprivation well and I felt happy and bonded to my baby, who was pretty much stuck to me all the time.

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4  powerful  steps  to  make  life  as  a  parent  easier

3/12/2018

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Guest Blog Post By Fehlya Ehrlander
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(Much of this post is taken from materials provided by the Simplicity Parenting training, led by Kim John Payne and Davina Muse.)

When Marissa invited me to do a guest post with tips for simplifying with a young child, I thought “Hmm, that could be great! …but hmm.“ 
 
As a Waldorf teacher I can think of tips that I used in the classroom, and some that I developed to work with specific children’s needs. Just the other day a friend and I laughed about one that we’ve heard can also work with adults: let’s call it the doubly-exaggerated story. When someone has a habit of telling tall tales, but isn’t ready to acknowledge it, try responding with an embellishment that’s twice as silly as the first. A sense of humor can help break the ice and show that having the “best" story isn’t to be taken too seriously.
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But as a Simplicity Parenting coach, the truth is I am used to thinking more about the fundamentals. If Simplicity Parenting is getting back to basics, then it makes sense that the thought process behind it is basic too. It’s really about parents connecting to their own inner wisdom about what brings family joy. It offers a pathway to simplifying in four realms at home, which reduces stress on children and their caregivers, and allows room for connection, creativity, and relaxation, all of which lead to an easier day to day life!
“Simplicity Parenting is really about parents connecting to their own inner wisdom about what brings family joy.”

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From  Birth  Choices  To  Amber  Necklaces: When   Everyone   Has   An   Opinion

1/27/2018

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Guest post by Jenn Sanders.
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When I found I was pregnant, I was so excited to tell everyone I knew. My husband and I had been trying for a year, and I was starting to believe there was a problem. I even started wondering if I would ever have a baby. I went to my doctor with my concerns, had an ultrasound during ovulation, and then scheduled my husband to be tested. It was the very next month that I found out I was pregnant.
To go from fearing the worst of being infertile to finding out I was pregnant led to an amazing high. The relief was extraordinary.
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THE DOES AND DON'TS BEGAN
Something happened after about a month. People started telling me what to do or what not to do. This came from family, friends, and co-workers. One day, I was sitting at my desk at work enjoying a nice beefy hamburger, and my co-worker said, “You shouldn’t eat that because you’ll be so devastated when you can't fit into your old jeans again.” I was shocked.

As I was developing my birth plan, I researched doulas and realized how awesome giving birth would be with one. My husband was onboard with it, and I was happy that I would have the support, encouragement and advice of someone who truly knew me, and cared about me and my baby. I also researched some other ways to have a baby, such as in water. What a magical experience to have your baby go from amniotic fluid inside the womb to warm water outside of it. What could be a more perfect transition? So, once I had my birth plan all laid out, I started telling people who asked.

Of course, I was met with opposition. Most of the people didn’t know how a doula helps, but they had their opinions about one. It infuriated me. I spoke to a mom friend who said that this is completely normal and will happen often in motherhood.
She was so right. As soon as I had McKayla, people were throwing advice at me left and right. Some of it was okay, but some of it seemed more like they were trying to tell me what I was doing was wrong.

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The Pride and Shame of Feeding a Baby

8/8/2017

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World Breastfeeding Week recently ended and I realized that although breastfeeding has been such an important thing for me as a mother and as a woman, I have never written anything about it in this blog. I don’t know at what point I started to think about it as a controversial topic and preferred to avoid it. The obsession with what "the best" is, can be a dangerous territory and it's hurting us.
 
FEEDING A BABY CAN BE A STRUGGLE

Some people who are very dear to my heart struggled with breastfeeding, one of them being my own mom. She nursed me for an incredibly painful month and a half and decided to stop when she found me spitting blood from her injured nipples.

She had absolutely no support. There were no lactation consultants she could talk to and her own family was very far away, on the other side of the country. She is, of course, not the only one who has been failed by a system that tells parents breastfeeding is best but gives them no tools to overcome the many challenges they might face.


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Does your baby's sleep make you a better parent?

8/3/2017

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YOUR BABY IS NOT A BLANK SLATE
One of the biggest mistakes that we make as parents is thinking that everything our children do, positive or negative, is a reflection of who we are.
 
It’s hard to become a parent. We have to give so much! Our own identities often become diluted as we pour every bit of ourselves into caring for our children. So when people say, “he is such a good baby,” “she is so sweet,” “they are so smart!” our chests swell with pride. Those comments can feel like an affirmation on the worthiness of our hard work as parents, which so often goes without recognition in nowadays individualistic culture.
 
Equally, if someone turns their nose to our kid, criticizes their manners, temper or behavior, it feels like a punch in the gut. For many of us, it’s easy to internalize that judgment (imagined or not) and start labeling our children and ourselves negatively (even if it’s a joke). Hot mess mom. Bad mom. Difficult child. Etc.

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DEAR  IMPERFECT  PARENT:  YOU  ARE  NOT  A  FAILURE

4/10/2017

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© Gajus | Dreamstime.com
This is a wonderful guest blog post by Raya Weaver.
​Are you interested on blogging for Womb Revolution? Contact us!
BEING A PARENT IS HARD
Being a parent is hard. Anybody with kids can agree on that. We all want what is best for our children, and most of us seem to have pretty strong opinions on what that might be. Sometimes, those opinions don't line up with reality. Twists and turns in our lives can throw us curveballs, and the way we end up handling our bumpy paths in life may turn out to be drastically different from the way we pictured ourselves handing things. And that is okay. Actually, it's not okay, it's awesome.

DEALING WITH JUDGMENT AND GUILT IS PART OF IT ALL
In a way, being a parent can sometimes feel like being under a microscope (especially in public). Starting in pregnancy, we get judged on all sorts of ridiculous things. Did we give up coffee? Did we remember to take our vitamins every day? Did we attend birth classes? Write a birth plan? Eat healthy? Do prenatal yoga?

The list goes on and on, and if we fail on any of those fronts, we can be made to feel like we are the worst parents in the world. It bleeds into birth with our guilt regarding epidurals, cesareans, long labors and other complications. Then into postpartum and beyond. Our harshest critics, of course, are ourselves.

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    Marissa Rivera Bolaños is a doula and visual artist with a passion to create change around the way our culture approaches women's health.

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